Monday, August 29, 2011

Jenny receives a prehumous award

Re:Purse and Bookbag Fashion Award

Purse and BookBag division                                                                        
Bag Snob Magazine
Camden, New Jersey
August 28, 2011

Janette Clay
Dixon, Illinois

Dear Madame,
Your fine conglomeration collection of book and Nook transportation bags has been repeatedly brought to our attention here at the editorial offices of Bag Snob Magazine. As you know, we are continually on the prowl for new additions to the glorious world of the fashion glitterati who work so hard to entertain and enlighten us every day.

Recently, numerous of our astute and alert readers in DeKalb and Dixon Illinois have noticed a particular shamble ensemble of bags encompassing a truly enormous volume of knowledge all being transported with great strain élan by an undeniably chic new fashion maven. Needless to say, these readers were astonished to find such an apparently stratospheric fashion personage in these stagnant backwaters quaint country villages. Who could carry such a weight of erudition in such levity of style? Truly the ES/M ratio* far exceeds any previously found in all of the years of our illustrious magazine.

Please forgive our rambling excessive gushes of praise. Truly our hearts have run away with us, our minds are atwitter, our mouths agog! But we must get to the point. Please prepare yourself, Madame.
You (!), yes you, have been named for the most prestigious award in the Bag fashion universe. The Purse and Bookbag Fashion Award.  Yes, this is the annual award that has such high standards that, until today, no one has ever been found who qualified for it. For years we have searched in vain for worthy and elevated individuals who could become the standard bearers in this most important field of fashion. Now, college students, mothers, urban professionals, and even young girls will have an example to look up to, a leader in knowledge transportation style, a bright new luminary in the heavenly constellation of Bag fashion stars.

With this prestigious award, should you decide to accept, you will be asked to make appearances at fashion shows in colleges and prisons schools across our country. You will receive a lifetime subscription to our limited-edition scholarly magazine, Bags as Knowledge Transportation and Fashion Devices. You will also receive a gift card for our online store, BookBagBabes.com as a small token of our appreciation.
Yours Most Sincerely and Affectionately,
Igot M’Gucci  for the editors of Bag Snob Magazine


* ES/M ratio – Erudition times Style divided by Mawkishness, a measure first suggested by one of the great minds who was centuries ahead of her time, Persephone of Meteora, circa 400 BCE.

P.S., we took the liberty to steal create several new bookbags inspired by your creative genius in this area. We hope that you are pleased with the results and will lend your approval to market these marvelous creations via BookBagBabes.com. We wouldn’t want the world to be deprived of the fruit of your fashion labors.


This year’s newest designer bag collection is tailored for those wishing to step boldly into their college career. The collection was inspired by our 2011 Purse and Bookbag Fashion award winner, Jenny Clay. Notice the subtle mixture of stripes, faux leopard print, and leather, all accented with this year’s trendiest color, bag blue. Starting at $800.  Reserve yours today.

3 Comments:

Blogger jenny said...

Let me just say that I am humiliated humbled to be so honored by your ignominious illustrious publication. Though I have been ahem, honored in the past by other parties, this has exceeded them all. You have eclipsed them by your verbiage and attention to detail. This art, which some less than flattering folk refer to as rat packing but I choose to call assemblage, has finally received its due. Thank you. If there is any ceremony that my attendance requires, please give me at least thirty days notice, it takes me that long to find my keys. Jenny Clay

10:36 PM  
Blogger gwen said...

Never was an award so deserved. There are truly few who can provide edification for the minds and sustenance for the bodies of scores of people from reticules of such carefree elegance.

10:44 PM  
Blogger rosie said...

Haaahaahaa!

11:02 AM  

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