The Clay Review

Drawing Tumblr

2012-02-10T16:40:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! Since I'm trying to write a comic, I've been practicing drawing on the computer. I've created a Tumblr so that everyone can go through the agony of learning something new with me! Yay!

http://nameismud.tumblr.com/

Composition 2/4/12 Ben Clay

2012-02-06T12:00:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T19:24:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year, you loverly people. It's that time of year again! Time to make resolutions and to see how we did on the old ones. Here are the resolutions from last year (only 5 people made them):

Madeleine's:
Read more Philosophy
Do some volunteer work
Try to learn Spanish
Complete at least one art project
Go on a road trip

John:
Sell one good photograph
Work out more
Learn how to make fire
Memorize history of photography
Read opinionated literature

Gwen:
Hm.
Also try to learn Spanish with the boys.
Procrastinate less.
Get outside every day.
Keep with the free medical clinic.
Comb my hair every day.
Go on adventures.

Dad:
Pick 24 books from lists of best books (that I collected from several sources) and read them. I better get them picked so I can post them.

Downhill ski once this winter.
Go to a Cubs game.
Do a big bike ride over a weekend.
Lose 5 more pounds.

Mom:
Well, considering my track record with previous years, I should hold these resolutions with an open hand, but here goes.
Jenny's
Remember my google password so that I can post here.
Learn Spanish (Madie and Gwen- looks like we need to do something about this!
Go outside everyday- more than just to the car.
Go on that big bike ride with Dad
Mess around in a canoe "because there is nothing half so fine as..."

Well, I definitely did some volunteer work. I did not go on a road trip, but I did go camping. My Spanish is not a lot better than last year, but I have been working on it all year, and I did read some philosophy, but not continually. I don't know about an art project. I drew some pictures? Nothing big, though.

This year my resolutions are:
- Take a shower every day
- Exercise every day, with at least 5 days including cardio
- Keep my hair short and neat
- Learn more about feminism (I've started off by buying Simone De Beauvoir's "The Second Sex")
- Learn Spanish
- Stop eating processed sugar

heads up and happy holidays

2011-12-28T13:05:00.002-06:00

Hi fam! Matthew and Marky wanted to alert you to their new (and upcoming) content over at Comics by Marky and Comics by Matthew. Feedback and suggestions for story-lines or Lego tutorials are desired.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-10T09:15:00.003-06:00

My dears,

It is that time of year again and though it is a little late for it, I would love for everyone to post a kind of wish list for everyone else here on the Clay Review.

Bredon, I did it, the end of the sentence did not hold the noun- I admit it was at the back but not at the very end of the line!

If you would like to post away, the more detailed your lists, the better and if you want, post lots of ideas- that way you will be surprised! Florid descriptions and discursive asides are most welcome!

And oh- Rose-O-Day...Happy Birthday my wonderful girl!! I hope it is a rings on your fingers and bells on your toes kind of day and a few elephants to ride upon would be welcome too!

Mom

Sea Turtles

2011-12-04T16:50:00.002-06:00

World History

2011-09-11T18:05:00.000-05:00

While talking with mom about the Paris Commune today, I realized that my knowledge of history is sadly lacking. I would love to read more history, but I would love having people to talk about history with even more. The people at the central Clay house (mom, dad, Ben and Sam) are all aboard some sort of community history education, and were hoping to start with Chinese/far east Asian history. Would everyone else like to get in on this as well? And does anyone have any good book recommendations to start out with? This could be so much fun!

Jenny receives a prehumous award

2011-08-29T20:05:00.000-05:00

Re:Purse and Bookbag Fashion Award

Purse and BookBag division

Bag Snob Magazine

Camden, New Jersey
August 28, 2011

Janette Clay
Dixon, Illinois

Dear Madame,

Your fine ~~conglomeration~~ collection of book and Nook transportation bags has been repeatedly brought to our attention here at the editorial offices of Bag Snob Magazine. As you know, we are continually on the prowl for new additions to the glorious world of the fashion glitterati who work so hard to entertain and enlighten us every day.

Recently, numerous of our astute and alert readers in DeKalb and Dixon Illinois have noticed a particular ~~shamble~~ ensemble of bags encompassing a truly enormous volume of knowledge all being transported with great ~~strain~~ élan by an undeniably chic new fashion maven. Needless to say, these readers were astonished to find such an apparently stratospheric fashion personage in these ~~stagnant backwaters~~ quaint country villages. Who could carry such a weight of erudition in such levity of style? Truly the ES/M ratio* far exceeds any previously found in all of the years of our illustrious magazine.

Please forgive our rambling excessive gushes of praise. Truly our hearts have run away with us, our minds are atwitter, our mouths agog! But we must get to the point. Please prepare yourself, Madame.

You (!), yes you, have been named for the most prestigious award in the Bag fashion universe. The Purse and Bookbag Fashion Award. Yes, this is the annual award that has such high standards that, until today, no one has ever been found who qualified for it. For years we have searched in vain for worthy and elevated individuals who could become the standard bearers in this most important field of fashion. Now, college students, mothers, urban professionals, and even young girls will have an example to look up to, a leader in knowledge transportation style, a bright new luminary in the heavenly constellation of Bag fashion stars.

With this prestigious award, should you decide to accept, you will be asked to make appearances at fashion shows in colleges and ~~prisons~~ schools across our country. You will receive a lifetime subscription to our limited-edition scholarly magazine, Bags as Knowledge Transportation and Fashion Devices. You will also receive a gift card for our online store, BookBagBabes.com as a small token of our appreciation.

Yours Most Sincerely and Affectionately,
Igot M’Gucci for the editors of Bag Snob Magazine

* ES/M ratio – Erudition times Style divided by Mawkishness, a measure first suggested by one of the great minds who was centuries ahead of her time, Persephone of Meteora, circa 400 BCE.

P.S., we took the liberty to ~~steal~~ create several new bookbags inspired by your creative genius in this area. We hope that you are pleased with the results and will lend your approval to market these marvelous creations via BookBagBabes.com. We wouldn’t want the world to be deprived of the fruit of your fashion labors.

This year’s newest designer bag collection is tailored for those wishing to step boldly into their college career. The collection was inspired by our 2011 Purse and Bookbag Fashion award winner, Jenny Clay. Notice the subtle mixture of stripes, faux leopard print, and leather, all accented with this year’s trendiest color, bag blue. Starting at $800. Reserve yours today.

The Batchelder Letters III

2011-07-16T22:07:00.003-05:00

Friend J. M. B.
Go ahead with the cross job for the Ladies of the American Legion. I wanted to see where the money was to be gotten before having it shipped. They assure me that it will be ready so it is safe to chance it.
Yes the crops are immense. Mr. Berman of Columbus has started a branch shop here so I suppose that we will have all sorts of business pretty soon.
Yours,
J.M. Laidlaw

The war was at a temporary truce. Ben and Sam had retreated and pushed their box to their corner of the garden, the future bean bed and began to implement fortifications at a distance from the apple tree front line.

“Sam, what this really needs is a moat.” Hands on his hips, Ben glanced around, it had rained two days previously and the ground was saturated to the point that if they dug around their box it might hold some water at least temporarily. His vision was worthy of Caesar. They could dig something pretty deep and wide, maybe six feet across and four feet down, it would be almost worthy of holding Vercingetorix at bay.

“I think that the shovels are over there by the asparagus bed.” Sam’s voice was muffled by several layers of damp card board; he was deep inside their box shelter, duck taping some rain damage, a frustrating business. It required enormous quantities of tape as it didn’t stick to the damp paper walls, only to itself.

Ben walked over to the neat rectangular bed careful not to step on the strange little knobby heads that the family had been eating away at for the previous month. He could hardly wait until they had eaten the last one; it was the only thing he could think of that he didn’t like about May. On the other hand, Ben looked to his right at the rhubarb, now there was something worthy of eating. Ben broke off two juicy red stalks and peeled away the enormous leaves and stuck them in his back pockets for a mid-digging snack. The back yard was a treasure trove of treats in the summer, they had free reign except for in the snow peas, they were Dad’s special favorite. The rhubarb made early spring yard mining almost as good as apple dropping time for good gleaning. Sam was right, you could always count on him for inventory, the shovels were right by the asparagus bed. Mom was extending it out another few feet, Ben shook his head and was glad it was three years before that effort would show any profit, maybe by the time he was nine he would like rice enough to choose asparagus as the one sanctioned food that he absolutely refused to eat.
“I’m gonna start here, Sam. When you’re done in there you can help from the other side, when we meet we can start to deepen the whole thing.” Ben had a battle plan, this moat might require some kind of draw bridge. He had seen a piece of wood leaning to the side of the garage; it was left over from the kitchen project Dad started last week. At least Ben thought it was left over, there wasn’t a sticker on it or anything, it didn’t look new.

A silver pickup truck drove up the driveway. Rosie was the first to go to the edge of the lawn. She viewed almost all visitors as interlopers and cast a critical eye on the vehicle. “Wing Builders: Yes, We Build Wings” was written on the side. Rosie nodded her head, the truck was somewhat acceptable. She climbed back in the tree, no avoidance or deflection tactics would be necessary, U.R. was okay and even better he never stayed long, he bored easily. He got out of the car and the rest of her siblings gathered around him like flies.

Callie was the first at his side, not so much because she was excited to see him but because she knew that Uncle Richard was one of the few people that Mom gave her full attention to. Callie always felt somewhat secure in the fact that she knew Mom was always on the edges of things. She always seemed to be a little distracted maybe but never absolutely elsewhere, except when Uncle Richard came. With him, Mom was completely transfixed, almost like a different person. Her laugh became somehow bawdier and the talk, well it didn’t seem to stop. Callie found a spot not too far from Mom’s feet and determined to stay there.

“I see you have a cling-on as usual.” Uncle Richard reached down and patted Callie on the head. When he did this, it was the lightest gesture in the world; his hand paused a few seconds in mid air above the crown of her silky head as if to savor the brief joy that it would give him.

“Can’t you make these guys disappear somehow? When I was a kid, I was never around.” Uncle Richard looked at Ben and Sam who stood at awed attention by his side, at Madie and Bredon who hung back a little but were struck still waiting for the next word that might come out of his mouth and at Gwen who busied herself in the background, appearing to be submerged in a book but actually was in anticipation, waiting for the marvelous banquet of words and stories that would issue from her favorite uncle. Rosie alone was immune to him, tolerating his presence but not liking the interruption to the flow of her daily routine; she just shrugged and turned around retreating to the yard swing to wait for his exit.

He held out a coffee cake toward the kids and said, “Here I got this at Fenn’s, it’s the best, you wouldn’t have anything like this around here in the boondocks. Consider it a gift from civilization.” Madie took the cake and uttered her thanks on behalf of everyone.

“Here Jen, this is for you, let’s see if it works, I’m tired of waiting for 45 minutes for the coffee to brew and god knows you won’t ever buy a new one.” He handed a coffee maker over to Mom who gushed her thanks.

“Hey Gwen, look in the back seat of the truck, I brought something I found the other day, not sure what it is but I thought you guys could figure it out.” Uncle Richard shooed them out of the kitchen eager to have his coffee and chat.

Gwen hitched herself up into U.R.’s open window and rustled through the random construction equipment on the passenger seat, a level, hammer and crowbar. She reached into the back and pulled out a long wand like apparatus with a flat circular bottom with a gauge in the middle. She hoisted it out of the car and Bredon took immediate possession, studying the gauge with interest.
“It’s a metal detector.” Gwen looked over at her brother, she had seen the same type of thing in one of her grandfather’s copies of Popular Mechanics the latest issue of which always rested along with Analog Science Fiction and Ellery Queen demurely behind The Daily Bread beside the commode. She twisted her mouth in concentrated recollection. “You wave it above the ground somehow and it makes a beep when it passes over any kind of metal. People use it to dig up treasure, you know, old coins and stuff.” Gwen reached out for the wand and Bredon handed it over. It was time for Gwen’s eyes to shine. She had a penchant for buried treasure, a large portion of her heart resided on the open seas with pirates. Gwen checked the box at the bottom for batteries and switched it on, the gauge began to click and she and Bredon made their way to the back yard.

After having had their fill of cake, Ben and Sam wandered out back. They returned to their shoveling work with a sugar induced will.

“Ben, this is a little weird.” Sam spoke from his muddy pit, he was below ground level by about 24 inches, he and Ben had not come to terms regarding depth and his progress was mostly vertical, not horizontal.

“Sam, you are supposed to meet me, not someone in China. Don’t go that deep yet, we are trying to go round.” Ben made a circle with his hand indicating the circumnavigation of their box fort. Ben put his hands on his hips, what Sam always failed to see was the bigger picture. He got lost in the details, if Ben didn’t stop him, Sam would just keep digging down. Ben knew that Sam was just enjoying the whole dirt removal thing, he had forgotten all about what they were digging for. Ben considered the idea of going in and getting some paper and pencil to draw out what he wanted, to impart his vision when Sam did an unexpected thing. He yelled.
“Ben, listen to me!” Sam had flung aside his shovel and stood on his feet in his hole. Ben walked over to his brother and faced his visible upper half. This was new. Sam rarely yelled unless he was injured and then he let out the noises of a wounded buffalo. Ben gave Sam a quick once over, there was no blood and anyway his yell seemed more annoyed than outraged. What had he said? Listen to me? Ben concentrated and centered his focus on Sam’s muddy face.

“Okay Sam, what is it?”

Sam bent down and pushed his finger into the dirt closest to his right knee. The operation was a little dicey because he had not made very much wiggle room in his portion of the pit yet. He could get a bead on what he was looking for if he held his body as closely as he could to the opposite wall of his pit.

“Well, there’s this thing in here. It doesn’t feel like a rock, it could be bones.”

Ben’s heart lept. Bones. A delicious feeling of danger ran up his spine and he was instantly at attention. Sam hiked himself out of the hole to get a better view of his find, he lay prone upon the ground beside the pit and and peered in. Ben edged in beside him, their two bodies lying side by side, their heads poking down into the 24 inch drop.

Gwen looked up, she usually had Ben and Sam somewhere in her peripheral vision when she was in their vicinity especially since their disappearance the previous evening. Now her radar for them was up a notch, heightened by a barely perceptible degree. Presently their absence registered upon her immediate awareness and she noted it. She circled the yard with her eyes, wand in hand, earnestly seeking likely spots for treasure and offhandedly scanning for her two youngest brothers.

“Bredon, have you seen Ben and Sam lately? They were just back here a minute ago.” Gwen hoisted the detector over her shoulder and circled.

“They’re lying on the ground over there by the garden, in the bean bed, by their fort.” Bredon and Gwen eyed the box. To them it was a dilapidated, pathetic pile. It did not symbolize any claimed territory, it did not seem worthy of stepping on, let alone defending. Both older siblings were constantly trying to persuade the younger ones to trade it in for a new model from the dumpster next door which issued a never ending supply of appliance boxes. Ben and Sam would never do it, they clung to their old one faithfully. Gwen saw the hole; she looked at the wand and handed it to Bredon.

“Maybe they found something over there, they have been awfully quiet.”

Madie and Rosie were perched in the apple tree. Madie was fastening a rope to a basket, rigging up a branch to ground, communication and delivery system. She had visions of 10:30 and 3:30 snacks being ordered and fulfilled with no positional jockeying. Rosie was venturing out to her new limb. Having been honor bound to abandon Gwen’s which had been at about 1:00 on the tree's schematic clock, her new one was at a 7:00 angle; the opposite side of the tree. Her 7:00 branch was lower in the tree and significantly farther out than Gwen’s, about as far as her weight would bear. Rosie had found a fork in this particular exterior branch that suited her backside to a tee. There was a rustling nearby and both girls looked over at the garden. Gwen, Bredon,Ben and Sam were on their hands and knees near a pretty good hole. Madie grinned, Ben and Sam were getting bigger after all and their digging skills were making her proud. Rosie was the first down. After giving her rope a good tug to make sure it was secure, Madie grasped the edge of it and cantilevered herself down as well.

Uncle Richard and Callie made their way out the back door. Callie made an immediate exit during the adult goodbyes and scurried around her great uncle’s legs, avoiding any unnecessary chit chat. She made her way to the garden to see what was up with the others.

Uncle Richard looked back into the kitchen, he enjoyed seeing his niece carve out a minute alone. After their goodbyes he noticed her quietly drawing her book close to her coffee cup and uneaten as yet, coffee cake. She was about to sit. Mission accomplished, Richard walked to his truck and glanced at the back yard with further satisfaction. There they were, all seven of them, heads down and looking into something, was that a hole in the ground? He remembered his ex-wife Carol, after a week long drive across the United States, referring to the Grand Canyon as such. He shook his head. The kids were arranged like spokes in a very large wheel, the hole the hub, all it lacked was a rim. Richard glanced at his watch, it was time for him to leave his 11:00 message at his old AA friend’s house. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, dialed the number and climbed into his truck.

He spoke, “Hey Frank, Dick here. Did you hear the one about the wheel with no spokes?”

Rosie popped her head out of the hole and noted the truck’s exit down the driveway. She gave a sigh of relief, she had the feeling of a gear clicking into place, they were alone at last and all was right with her world again. She put her head back down and continued studying the pit.

Sam pulled himself back on his elbows and thought a moment. The very thing; he jumped up and ran into the garage and came back out wielding the garden hoe, it was a pointed one. His habit of keeping track of inventory was coming in handy today. His brothers and sisters got on their haunches and hitched themselves back making a respectful circle around him. He had an idea and those golden things had to be given their proper due. Sam scratched the side of his ditch very carefully, he did not want to crush or break the possible bone that was lodged in the dirt. He saw a glint, a tiny gleam of metal, he drew in a sharp breath and everyone gathered in closer.

“I think that we should use this.” Bredon spoke gravely and waved the metal detector in front of everyone. Madie’s eyes grew round. She looked at the gleam in the pit and at the object being waved in front of her face. The perfect thing. Bredon, feeling more charitable perhaps than he had ever felt in his life, looked at Madie’s look of wonder and handed her the wand. “Here you do it Madeleine, then we can all take turns.”

The Batchelder Letters II

2011-07-03T17:10:00.002-05:00

Dearest family:
The letters that this story is based on are real, they have been outrageously edited (they are extremely Eskimo) but the originals live in our attic still. On the other hand, I know that Hide, Bluff and Seek isn’t real (it’s not is it?) but it is a reflection of my fears of what really might have gone down on those rare evenings when I was gone. There is only one truly impossible thing in this chapter, can you all guess it? If you do, you win and you will get the winner’s privelege.
Mom

Dear Batch,
No business here. We live on corn meal and wear old clothes since our mortgages can’t pay their interest. The reduced dividends on stocks are all that keep the wolf away and soon I am going to drag him in and eat what meat he has on his frame.
Cheerio!
Old Doc Yak

Chapter Two: Callie’s Discovery

Members of a large and sprawling family have something in common with bustling city dwellers. The search for solitude. It is a core value which influences countless decisions and daily negotiations.. There is a singular delight in being alone among many. These surrounded residents do not seek a secular cloistering or even a self denying, lonely seclusion. What is valued and enjoyed is a beatific peace. In cities there are parks with lovely, meandering and most importantly, narrow pathways. There are cafes with tables enclosed by banquettes to hide in and there are lofty and humble dwellings alike that have as their chief attribute, walls. In homes that successfully shelter large families there are nooks and crannies either built in or fashioned on the fly (anything will do- in a pinch, a box can work) to hide in. Perhaps this primal urge to separate explains the strong allure of the Clay family’s two favorite games. They both required self enforced seclusion and they depended upon rare sets of conditions which enhanced their value distinctly. One, Ghost in the Graveyard required hot summer nights when darkness came late and bedtime was not legislated. The other Hide, Bluff and Seek required an even more exceptional circumstance, Mom had to be gone. For several hours. Running. It wasn’t that the game took long, an hour would do for that but what necessitated the time was the clean up. Mom had a gimlet eye for certain kinds of detail and nothing could be overlooked or their pastime would be detected and that would never do.
Sam was sifting through the large coat rack on the back porch. It had boxes for boots at the bottom, hooks for coats in its midsection and almost above his sight line were two long rows of cubby holes for mittens, gloves, hats and scarves. For Sam the task of retrieving a piece of outer wear was an intuitive exercise. His eyes found the edge of a piece of synthetic wool; it was a gaudy two tone number of tomato red and lemon yellow. Sam dismissed it and moved on. Ahh, a plain blue scarf, maybe ten inches wide, made of fleece, it would be a little bulky but it was an acceptable color and it was soft, not scratchy. He made a small hop to give himself a little height, grasped the fabric at the peak of his reach and yanked. It came out of the rack’s cubby hole onto his head in a mass. It was enmeshed with three other scarves. Sam scrunched his eyes shut against the onslaught and took the tumorous object into his lap and began extricating the tangled mess. Four down and three to go, Sam did the math, he knew that he would need seven scarves, all long enough to wind around a head twice and fasten tightly and dense enough to keep out any vestiges of light. By deciphering an adult breakfast conversation, Bredon had discovered that both parents would be gone that evening and immediately afterward the revelries were planned. They would be able to play Hide, Bluff and Seek, a simple game with one very important complication. The scarves were Sam’s affair, he was commissioned by Bredon to find the right kind and bring them to his room. In Sam’s world there were orders and there were Orders. Bredon’s held the upper case distinction; everything that he requested was done with dispatch, attention to detail and devotion. Bredon’s was a benign monarchy, he wielded his power lightly if he was even aware of it and his requests were few and never arbitrary. After separating the scarves, Sam looked back up and decided to settle for the two toned muffler. He made a quick jump and grabbed it handily and another ball of tangled, synthetic wool rained on his head. After unsnarling the mess, Sam began to wind them one by one around his waist by holding them steady and pivoting slowly on his heels. It seemed a good way to transport his load, nothing would be dropped or forgotten and the act of straightening and winding the scarves around his small waist was mesmerizing. Finally with a vastly expanded girth Sam made his way up the stairs to make his delivery.
Mom had been gone for ten minutes; long enough to be sure that she would not return to check for keys, glasses checkbooks or forgotten forehead kisses. The center staircase was their meeting ground, the it spot and safe haven. Gwen had hung the seven scarves over the banister and motioned to her younger siblings that the moment had arrived. Each one in turn took a scarf and solemnly wound it around their heads. Ben and Sam tied each other’s scarves, ensuring neat windings that did not allow for fabric cracks. The unique condition of Hide, Bluff and Seek was that all the participants were blindfolded. According to tradition the first seeker was the oldest because the first hiding places were always the best. Everyone was fresh to the game and had time to plan their secret spot carefully. Gwen gave her scarf a final twist and put her face to the corner of the stairwell and began her count, a slow, sonorous one hundred with Mississippi droned between each number. The disbursement was rapid, when the count ended there would be no grace given, Gwen would begin her blind but none the less relentless search. Ben grabbed Sam’s hand and began to feel his way up the stairs, he had formed his plan that afternoon and he needed Sam’s physical presence to bolster his courage. Eyes firmly shut he felt his way along the banister one step above his younger brother. The stairs were the easy part; the railings were the perfect guide for the sightless. After the final step, Ben felt carefully along the hallway wall. Yes, there it was, the bathroom door, Ben trailed his fingers along the smooth wood and felt the protrusion of the frame on the far end. Now, in twelve steps along the wall he should get to the attic door, he knew this, he had practiced it many times. With Sam in tow, Ben found the door, with his free hand he niggled his scarf a bit, letting in a tiny sliver of light. The attic stair had no banisters and the top had a drop off that required a little light to navigate. Ben tried to adhere to the letter of the visionless law but attic stairs were attic stairs, scary even for the sighted and he did have Sam to think of. He wiggled his fingers further into his fabric covered face and parted the folds a little further. He could just make out the set of sixteen steps; he clutched his brother’s hand a little tighter and made his way up. Having made their way to their destination both boys turned toward one another and nodded their heads and removed their blindfolds entirely. They were in forbidden territory and the rules of the game had changed. Ben put his hands on his hips and looked around. The attic was a vast, high peaked room filled with places to hide in. Ben’s eyes lit on a particularly interesting corner, it held a very large pile of cardboard boxes. They were of about the same shape as the type he had seen in nurseries, large, light building boxes. Sam followed Ben’s glance.
“We could build a kind of shelter out of those Ben. It would hide us pretty well.”
Ben and Sam began their work with a will and soon had a shelter worthy of hunkering down in.
Gwen began to pick off her siblings one by one. Callie was the first to be found, she hadn’t gotten far, she was inside the window seat on the stairs. Gwen was curious that it came down that way; usually Ben and Sam were the first to be found, hiding like ostriches with their feet sticking out from under the piano or their heads peeping out from the heart of a desk. Gwen wasn’t too surprised though, Callie lacked a certain amount of competitive spirit for this game. It was understandable; it took a burning desire to win to withstand the boredom of sitting in a dark hole somewhere waiting for someone to find you. Next came Madie, it was her own creativity that did her in. She was perched in the cabinet over the washing machine but she couldn’t resist leaving a small cord trailing out of the closed cupboard door for insurance in case it locked on her. Rosie was next; Gwen knew how to find her, all she had to do was to look high, very high. She was on top of the refrigerator behind two strategically placed five gallon buckets, one filled with dry milk powder and the other with “rich people’s” peanut butter. The buckets weren’t normally up there, Gwen shook her head, it must have been tough to haul them up silently and with a blindfold. Now, Gwen was starting to worry a little bit. Bredon was usually very hard to find, it wasn’t that he was a daredevil or especially clever at camouflage, it is just that he had a very deep knowledge of the house. He knew every nook and cranny and he loved to measure its spaces and map it out. He knew just the right spots for concealment. Gwen wasn’t worried about him, she was concerned about Ben and Sam, this was not typical at all.
Everyone already found was gathered at the it location.
Gwen cleared her throat and made an announcement, “Ok everyone, take off your blindfolds.”
Everyone took off their scarves and looked at Gwen in alarm, this was almost unprecedented, Gwenny was a stickler for the rules.
“I haven’t found Ben and Sam yet. I need everyone to help me. Callie, you take the first floor, look everywhere you can. Ben and Sam can’t climb that high but they can burrow. Look closely at the fireplace, not just the base, look up the flue. It makes a good perching place. Also check the hall closet and the book shelves, especially the glass ones with the encyclopedias they’re pretty deep. Rosie you take the second floor, I might not have checked under Mom and Dad’s bed, it is usually so full of those bags of things we leave around that I didn’t think anyone would be able to get under there but the boys are pretty small and could squeeze in the cracks maybe. Check every closet, especially linen, it’s capacious and I might have missed something. If anyone finds Bredon, tell him to find me immediately. Madie, you take the basement, look first in the most dangerous spots, like the chemistry table, and then in the boiler room we’ve got to make sure they didn’t hide there first.” Gwen paused to think, don’t worry too much about Dad’s work room, it’s not so dangerous, Dad always unplugs everything. Now run!”
Everyone obeyed Gwen instantly, she was perfectly cool in a crisis and commanded their respect. They knew they were in good hands. Gwen thought hard about where Bredon might be. She snapped her fingers, there was one place she hadn’t looked yet, frankly she hadn’t thought that he knew about it or that he would resort to it this early in the game. She made her way to the hall closet and opened the door. To her right was a very large drawer, close to the ground. Gwen pulled it all the way out and placed it on one end beside the door, then she laid on the ground and rolled into the opening that it left, she pulled a flashlight out of her pocket and made a 360 degree circle of light.
“Bredon?” He was huddled in the corner of a little hidden room. It was the same size as the foundation of the stairs, five feet high and four feet square. Bredon had his muffler on, it was hardly necessary as the room was pitch black without the flash light.
“Gwen, it isn’t fair, you have your scarf off.” Bredon sensed the flashlight’s glare. He was outraged, getting in this particular spot wasn’t easy but it was nearly impossible, blindfolded.
“ I can’t find Ben and Sam. You’re going to need to help me with this. I have everyone looking but you.”
Bredon looked thoughtfully at Gwen, he knew what had to be done. “ I think I have something that will help us, it’s in my room.”
Gwen wasn’t looking forward to going into Bredon’s room; she hadn’t looked there in the game because she knew that no one would ever hide there. It was in a constant state of flux, there were no containers made to withstand the amount of rustling Bredon did with his things. There were piles of cardboard cut into tiny pieces and bits of string, every tiny toy collected and snatched from Mom’s constant decluttering fingers. Clothing was pushed into corners, regarded as unimportant, but most of all there was paper. Vast piles of the stuff, stacks that appeared to be disorganized but in fact were carefully collated and systematized. Bredon reached for one particularly wide stack, it was a pile of outsized, perforated paper all connected accordion style, a left over ream from the old dot matrix printer.
“I’ve got about four different ones of these, I’m still working on the electrical but here are the water lines, intake and outflow, the heating system and main bearing walls. If we follow this one carefully,” Bredon patted the last folded piece of paper, “we shouldn’t miss anything. You follow me, I’ve got this.”
Bredon held a homemade map of the house in his hands, Gwen noted that it was carefully drawn to scale and each wall was placed properly with windows and doors indicated.
“Bredon, these are amazing! We need to start in the attic, I don’t think they would be brave enough to try it but well, they’re still gone and it seems possible. Do you have that floor?”
Bredon nodded his head, “It’s the least interesting level, just one big room but the edges have lots of crawly spaces that I mapped out a couple of weeks ago. If you’re willing to get on your hands and knees and face down a few possible spiders you can go all the way around the perimeter of the room, they connect.”
Bredon’s eyes were shining despite the seriousness of their mission, he couldn’t help himself, he loved this stuff. Gwen heard the part about the spiders, they held no particular dread as far as she was concerned, she was ready. As they made their way up the large central staircase, Madeleine, Rosie and Callie joined them with three shaking heads, their searches had come up empty.
As they entered the attic, Bredon assumed command. He pointed out four spots indicated on his map. ”There are loose spots in these parts of the paneling, they can be removed. Madie, Gwen and Rosie, if you loosen them they will come off easily, we can always screw them back in later. Let’s get in there and see if the boys are hiding behind the walls.” Gwen looked at her watch, they still had some time. Mom may be upset with the five gallon buckets on the fridge, strangely angled bookshelves and missing pieces of the attic walls but far worse would be the loss of Ben and Sam, it was unthinkable. Everyone took their Swiss army knives out of their pockets and readied the little screw driver attachments and began to loosen their panels. Soon there was a rustling in the walls, like four oversized rodents scurrying to crumbs.
Callie glanced around, she felt a little left out but there were only four corners after all. Perhaps Ben and Sam weren’t in the walls; she thought it was a long shot anyway. She wondered what she would do if she were still five or six. She would have made a blanket house, Callie looked over at the large container of extra blankets, Mom said once that it seemed that their family bred blankets somehow, there were so many. The container was undisturbed. Boys, Callie thought, I guess they are different than me. Her eyes lit on the corner stack of boxes, they were very similar in shape to blocks. Suddenly she knew where Ben and Sam were, the pile had a suspiciously symmetrical look to it, it was recently constructed she could tell.
“I see you guys.” There was a rustling behind the stacks and Sam’s head popped out from the lowest wall.
“You’re not blindfolded, Callie, I am going to tell Gwen.”
“You’re not either, Sam.” Sam noted Callie’s rolled eyes and felt around his neck, the scarf still dangled; somehow he felt that its presence gave him a small advantage, and he thought of protesting, given the fact that he didn’t see one anywhere near Callie. Then he looked at her face and thought better of it. She looked angry and maybe even scared.
Ben stood up, “Callie, this is the best hiding place ever.” Callie walked over to where they stood and inspected their hovel.
“These are pretty cool, Ben and Sam.” Her interest was piqued and it dissipated her anger. She took one of the boxes and felt around its edges, they were fabric covered and brittle. Some of them looked worn, as if they were very old, on the side of each box was a date, some from as long ago as 1901. Callie opened the box in her hand carefully and drew in a sharp breath. They were filled with letters, beautifully hand scripted and collected, a treasure trove of correspondence.
“Hey you guys can come out of the walls, I found ‘em.” Callie called her siblings and looked around. She heard a stampede of hands and knees headed for the nearest loose panel, she guessed that those spiders were more than just a possibility, everyone seemed to be in a pretty big hurry to escape.
Gwen, Bredon, Madie and Rosie emerged looking a little cobwebby and smudged. Gwen put her hands on her hips and looked at Ben and Sam with a new found respect. “Well you guys, this is a first. You won. Well Callie kind of won but she had to take her blindfold off to find you and besides she wasn’t it, so I guess you did it.”
They beamed. Ben and Sam both chose not to fess up about their lack of third floor eye coverings and Callie didn’t see what the point was of unmasking them.
Madie looked at her watch and Gwen noted it from the corner of her eye. “We’ve got about 30 minutes you guys, it’s gonna be pretty tight. Take the floors you were looking in. Ben and Sam, you guys have to take the worst mess. Winner’s privilege. It’s a six bath towel business, peanut butter and dry milk powder in the kitchen, I guess Rosie was in a pretty big hurry to get down.”
While Gwen, Bredon and Madie screwed in wall panels, Rosie stepped over to her sister. She looked at the box Callie held in her hand and began to sort the stacks, peeking at the inside of one in the process.
“Hey Cal, what are these?”
Callie looked up from the mass of paper clutched in her hand. “Rosie, I think they’re letters, a whole life time of them.”

The Batchelder Letters

2011-06-16T23:28:00.002-05:00

THE BATCHELDER LETTERS

Table of Contents

1. A brief introduction to our characters
In which Madie sets her trap, territory is defended and sparks fly.
2. Callie’s discovery
In which the attic is explored, nests are formed and Rosie organizes the stack.
3. Sam’s discovery
In which Ben and Sam dig and Uncle Richard comes bearing small appliances.
4. Bredon’s workshop
In which his girl Friday and her boy Tuesday make office play sing.
5. The Tuna Fleet’s lower quarters
In which Eric enters the fray and an evidentiary workshop is established.
6. Ben and Sam lookouts
In which cemetery scouts compile cryptic clues.
7. Traveling magic show
In which routes are mapped and the clock and radio man sounds the alarm.
8. Business adventures
In which a bike contest is won, sort of.
9. The popcorn lady
In which Nutmeg has her shining hour.
10. The mystery unfolds
In which the truth is revealed.

Dearest family,
To prevent any amendments (though if urgent they will be considered) please know that all the facts and chronology herein are jumbled. Only with characters did I adhere to anything close to the truth. This little mystery is an excuse for an extended reminiscence of my particular golden age, when you guys were growing up. I know that may be putting too bright a spin on it but even Greece in 500 BCE was not all sweetness and light, remember those trifles with Xerxes?
Mom

The Batchelder Letters

Royal Order of Jesters,
Rockford, Illinois
Dear Jester John,
Enclosed you will find your 1932 card, in return please send the ten spot pronto.
Yours in the faith.
Bill E. Chapman
Impressario

Chapter One: A brief introduction to our characters

Madie twisted the paper covered wire one more time, three; that was just right, the length of it seemed suited to that number and the strength of it was sufficient for her purposes. She stepped back and eyed her creation. The set of connected rubber bands that Madie had fashioned into an intricate Chinese jump rope were fastened to the door knob on one end and were connected to four paperclips on the other. The paper clip wires were firm and taut. Madeleine fingered them one more time to be sure that their connections were at the right angle. They were attached to a series of cereal boxes lying on the floor, with holes that were reinforced by her rapidly diminishing supply of scotch tape. The boxes were left over from a project she had inherited from her younger brother, for him they had been the caboose of a train. Their size variance had bothered him so he left them abandoned for another time. The fact that they had been connected for the purposes of being a train car made them perfect for Madie’s project. They had a cotton string running through their centers which made them easily attachable and even better, reticulated. Madie stepped forward and pulled the string tight and grinned at the box train’s satisfying spin. She took the string’s free end and connected it to her new twist tie loop. That finished, Madeleine briefly considered wiring it up. Her dad had helped her experiment with a potato battery last week and she could perhaps rig up a buzzer or alarm of some sort if she could remove the door bell, no one rang it anyway. She shook her head at the new complication, dismissing it for the more immediate pleasure of catching someone before lunch. She folded her legs in front of her and clasped them with her arms and placed her chin upon her knees. She rested her eyes on her configuration and waited.
It had been a long morning; Mom was reading the boring parts of the Count of Monte Cristo, the ones that had to do with Napoleon. It was all too dry except of course for the secret letters. And in history they were in the early middle ages, Rome had petered out and Charlemagne hadn’t come in yet. Why even learn that? Five hundred to eight hundred was just a blip on history’s radar. This was her second time around with this stuff anyway. Her math lesson went pretty fast, she knew that Rosie had done only every other problem, Madeleine wondered if she would get caught this time. Probably not, Mom really only looked closely at the tests and Rosie never did too badly on those. The stack had seemed high and wide that morning and Madie had plowed through it diligently, waiting to come in here and try her experiment out. All she needed now was someone who wanted to come in the door. Madeleine contemplated her outrageous number of siblings and bent her ears for any sound of them. There they were; the pounding of feet, it sounded like four people coming up the stairs. It could be Ben, Sam, Bredon and Callie all at once or Gwen or Rosie. Nope, just Gwen. Madeleine shut her eyes and prayed that she wouldn’t want to come in this room. Go around to your own room Gwen, Madeleine whispered these wishes to herself and closed her eyes tight. Oh good, the pounding footsteps went by at a dead run and a door slammed. Gwen went into her own room across the hall. Safe for now, let someone else come! Madeleine curled herself up into a tight ball in anticipation. She hoped that it would be Callie or Rosie or maybe Bredon. Callie and Bredon would react somewhat calmly and Rosie, well it would just be fun to see what happened there. Madie shook her head and wondered why. Rosie would probably leap over the whole thing anyway and just make a great arc in the air and land on her bed. It was never the same how she entered the room, it was impossible to predict if her trap would work with her. Madie glanced around the room. Three beds, all unmade, the quilts were heavy, it was a cool late spring and the heat was turned low at night. She frowned and thought the unthinkable. What if it were mom? That was pretty unlikely; she didn’t usually come up at this time of day. Those unmade beds would bother her, that’s for sure. And if Mom fell into the trap. Madie shook her head, if that happened the worst would probably be that her vocabulary might be enriched. Falling down was one thing, the unmade beds were another, the consequences there could be more serious than a few new colorful words. Madie got up and got busy.
After the beds were properly arranged Madie laid down on the floor in the center of the room, propped her chin in her upraised hands and again stared at the door. Ah, there they were, irregular footsteps, they almost seemed to be dancing up the stairs with an offbeat rhythm, and then they ceased altogether in the middle of the landing followed by a thud. They had to belong to Ben, too heavy for Sam and too light for anyone else. Madeleine looked at her door one more time and nodded, nothing would actually hurt him, at least not too much. She held her breath, of course he would come in here, he always did if he thought no one was in here.
Ben walked up the steps, he tried to make it every third one but it was just a little too much of a gap and his success rate was spotty. He stopped on the first landing and looked up. If he held his hands straight out and pushed with his fingertips on the wall and grasped the rail with his other he might be able to launch up five steps, a new record. Way better than Sam. Ben flicked his shoes off and left them where they fell and got positioned. He flung himself pendulum style up the staircase and lost his feeble grip on the wall and fell. Ben sat on the step and lifted his foot close to his face for inspection, he flexed it once or twice, it seemed fine. He bounced back up and continued up the stairs one at a time. The door opposite the steps was Madie, Rosie and Callie’s, it was shut tight. Ben eyed it and made his decision instantly; he pushed at the knob quietly and looked up and down the hall to make sure that he was unobserved. With a twist of his wrist he was in; because of his ankle he stepped gingerly and the rubber band jump rope snapped. catching both of his legs and landing him in a heap.
“Owww!” The bellow that he had suppressed on the stairs came out in wounded rage; all attempts at stealth were flung aside to vent the pain that coursed through him. Well, Ben stopped and assessed a moment, maybe not pain but it could have been. His dignity was injured and he felt it keenly. Was that his train he saw on the floor in front of him? He resumed his shout but at a significantly lower pitch. Madeleine kept her chin firmly grasped in her hands and watched Ben calmly. She knew each variation of Ben’s bellows intimately and was certain that his spirit suffered but that his body remained intact. Her trap had sprung perfectly. When the door had opened the tension was built up just enough in the wires to be prepared to catch the invader’s shins. Ben was wound up securely in her string of paper clips, rubber bands, cereal boxes and twist ties and now he was at her mercy, snared and ready to be examined. Madeleine got up calmly and circled her entangled brother. His hands were free, only his legs were snarled; the Chinese jump rope was doing all of the work twisted as it was over his lower legs. Madie made a few mental notations for improvement, the clips should have had a link or two less and the ties needed four twists not three, Ben was light if it had been anyone larger it might not have held.
“Ben, you didn’t knock.” Madeleine looked at him sorrowfully and Ben instantly felt as if this was the logical consequence the world sprang upon non-knockers.
Ben hoisted himself awkwardly into a sitting position, sniffed back his remaining tears and began to work on his enmeshed shins.
“Its okay Ben, I got it. Sorry if this hurt you.” Madie pulled at the one paper clip attached to the connected rubber bands and released Ben with a flick of her wrist.
The clanking of a bell sounded from below the stairs.
“Lunch time.” Ben sniffed and looked up at Madie while she took his hand and pulled him up beside her, she reached out and placed her thumbs under his eyes and swiped them gently across his damp cheeks. “You’ll be okay Ben.” With that vague reassurance she again took his hand and led him down the stairs, a rhythmic three at a time.
Gwenny hated it when she had to dry and put away the dishes. It wasn’t that she minded the work, she didn’t like it but that didn’t mean she resented it. What really got her was the fact that Bredon was washing and rinsing. Each plate and glass, spoon, fork and knife were individually wiped and carefully inspected for traces of remaining dinner. He had filled the rinsing sink with extremely hot water and dropped each soapy implement in and watched as it sank or swam. For Bredon dishes were not a practical matter to be run through to the next much more exciting item on the evening’s docket, for him the job was a fascinating experiment in displacement, soap bubble patterns, surface tension and floatation. Now Gwen could understand that fascination certainly but they were his dishes not hers and somehow that fact diminished their allure. Gwen had tried to get him to switch with her tonight but he liked washing and it was his night. Gwen gritted her teeth and looked out the window. The apple tree was full, not of fruit it was late May, it was full of Rosie, Callie and Madeleine. Gwen looked down and nodded her head. There were Ben and Sam dragging boxes, a little flimsy for her taste, she made a note to herself to go to the dumpster next door and rustle up some new ones for them. They were moving them to the base of the occupied tree. They hadn’t quite generated the height to get to the first cross branch and needed help. The boxes were pushed away and replaced by the hour, a cardboard Maginot line. They never disappeared completely, they remained as a continual reminder of Ben and Sam’s possible encroachment upon the upper reaches of the apple tree. Gwen glanced up into the branches, was that Rosie in her spot? Gwen squinted through the water splashed glass, it had to be her. Gwen saw a rustle and then leaves with tiny green fruit attached raining artfully around Sam’s little blonde head. Gwen noted the immature fruit’s velocity and heft and the obvious avoidance of its target. It was okay, just a little reminder, nothing serious. Sam put his hands on his hips and looked up at the branches and saw no particular perpetrator just the usual three sisters lolling in their chosen boughs. He glanced at the ground and picked up the tiny fruit before him and took an experimental bite. After contemplating the taste he popped the marble sized object in his mouth and swallowed it down. Gwen felt a sudden urgency to get out there and regain her branch. She had a lot of material for bribery in her closet under lock and key and Rosie was perpetually hungry. Gwen thought about whether it would be possible to saw off some judiciously chosen branches below hers to make her eyrie more insurmountable, she shook her head. Perhaps she could just get higher but she knew it wouldn’t work. Rosie would just figure out a way to get around that. Gwen’s reading hidey holes were disappearing, the attic would be too hot in the summer, Dad was building something near the tubs in the basement and the top of the washer was out for the season, Mom did a lot more laundry in the summer. That branch was vital. She would need chocolate, it was the only thing. Gwen squeezed her eyes shut and grabbed the final batch of silver from the boiling hot rinse water. Bredon only had to drop it not retrieve. She grasped the implements, swiped them once as a fisted group with her rag and quickly shuffled them into their respective places in the drawer and slammed it shut allowing the bang to serve as punctuation for a job finished and cast aside.
Rosie sat upright in her bed; she had two new Nestle’s Crunch bars artfully arranged before her. She would have to abandon her newly conquered limb, but there was another, better one in the plum tree nearby and it reached even closer to Knodle’s roof. It would be dangerous, the tree was old and brittle and might not stand up to her weight. If she wound all the stashed, ripped scarves around her elbows, knees and backside and wore the old hockey helmet she might be able to withstand a fall. She needed to remember to protect her face though; perhaps she could cut a couple of holes in a torn pair of tights for her eyes and shove it on. It was one thing that was absolutely sure to get her in trouble, if she came up with a cut or scrape anywhere from forehead to chin. She glanced to her right; Madie had constructed a tent with her quilt and was burrowed deep inside with a flashlight, Chocolate Ears, Snowball and a book. She could hear a quiet murmuring, Madie was reading to herself out loud again. Rosie saw Madie’s hand creep out of the makeshift tent to her bedside table and the seemingly disembodied thing fished around for its object. There it was, her fingers found their aim, a pencil. Madie was going to put it between her teeth to help her to remember not to mouth the words as she read. Yes, after the retrieval there was silence from under the covers. Rosie looked to her left, Callie was splayed out under her covers sound asleep. No, there was a single line being drawn under Callie’s covers, a long straight knee to neck peak, the blanket’s temporary continental divide. Rosie turned and Callie nudged her in the side.
“Rosie, this is cool.” Callie whispered. “If you do it just right, not too hard, you can make sparks, small ones under the blanket. Yeah, yours is like mine, the same stuff.” Callie reached out and fingered Rosie’s blanket. “It’s like little lightning bolts.” Callie kept her head under the covers and murmured her instructions. “Barely touch the blanket with your finger tips, you have to almost not do it.”
Rosie tried the gentle pressure that her sister demonstrated. She couldn’t do it, it was a magical thing that Callie alone could conduct. Her hands felt damp and a little cold so she popped her head under Callie’s blanket, perched her chin on her sister’s shoulder, watched her tiny storm and drifted off to sleep.

Comics by Matthew

2011-04-30T10:45:00.001-05:00

Matthew is starting a comic site too.
Comics By Matthew

Bald Eagles!

2011-04-30T09:50:00.003-05:00

Gardening

2011-04-10T20:10:00.003-05:00

Comics By Marky

2011-03-22T00:41:00.002-05:00

Marky requested his own website so that he can publish his comics. They are a bit bloodthirsty. They feature his new character "the boy" and villains such as the evil kitten and the evil lemur.
http://comicsbymarky.blogspot.com/

Breads.

2011-03-09T14:45:00.008-06:00

Last weekend, I made no-knead bread - I'm going to post the recipe in case you want to make it yourself. The recipe is very basic - it can be mixed and baked with minimal effort. The cool thing about this method for making dough is that the glutens normally developed by kneading are developed when you allow the dough to rise.

Basic Bread

3 C Water (Lukewarm)
1.5 T Yeast
1.5 t Salt
6.5 C Flour

-Pour the lukewarm water into a large mixing bowl
The bowl should be big enough to accommodate the dough once it has risen. I use a 6 quart plastic tub).

-Stir in salt, yeast, oils and sweeteners.
Since this is just a basic recipe, I'll leave it up to you to determine what oils or sweeteners fit your taste. I'm working on a batch of dough with butter and honey added - it is quite delicious.

-1 cup at a time, stir in flour. Mix thoroughly in order to avoid the formation of flour pockets.

-Allow the dough to rise for at least two hours.
It will double in size or triple in size if you use sweeteners.
There is no need to cover the dough at this stage - the ratio of water to flour ensures that the dough will not dry out during the rising.

-After rising, the dough can be either baked, or stored in the refrigerator for later use.
If you do store it, be aware that until the dough cools down, it will continue to rise. Be prepared to monitor it for the next hour or three, or make sure to use a storage container that will accommodate the rising dough.
Baking!

-Generously flour your hands, and the top of the dough.
The flour will prevent the dough from sticking to your hands.

-Pull off a hunk of dough and give it a light coating of flour.
Shape the loaf - or don't.

-Sprinkle a bed of cornmeal on a breadboard, back of a cookie sheet, whatever. Place your shaped loaf on the board and let it proof for about 40 minutes.

-Preheat your oven, and pans on which you will cook your bread, to 450 degrees.

-Once the bread is done proofing, slide it from the coated board onto the baking surface, and bake for 35-40 minutes. It should have a hard crust, and sound hollow if tapped.

-Allow the bread to cool for about 20 minutes before eating it! The moisture inside of the bread will leach out into the crust, softening it.

This recipe makes enough dough for 4 loaves.

edit.
[It should be noted that a serrated bread knife is best for making slashes on the surface of this kind of bread dough. When I attempted to use a chef's knife, the blade became stuck in the gooey dough.]

Home Science Experiment: sediment density and gravity separation. In an effort to discover the best way to consistently grind coffee

2011-01-14T12:45:00.001-06:00

When I make coffee in the morning, I have a technique of grinding beans which I have assumed gives a more consistent grind for our French Press. A consistent grind is necessary because when the grind is too large, the coffee is weak, and when the grind is too small, the coffee is grainy with sediment. The problem is that our grinder is the sort with a single chamber with blades at the bottom, so the it continues to grind all of the coffee at the bottom of the chamber, whether it is fine, coarse, or whole bean. When I grind coffee, I run the grinder in short bursts while grinding and shaking the grinder up and down (this, in theory, prevents the fine grains from getting stuck on the bottom with the blades, so that all the beans our ground more evenly). John runs the grinder in short bursts while turning the grinder upside down and right side up again (this, in theory, more evenly distributes the beans and grounds so that gravity doesn't separate them naturally and the fine grounds don't get stuck on the bottom with the blades while the beans stay on top waiting to be ground). These methods of grinding created a debate: does shaking help to prevent over grinding, or does aid in the natural separation of gravity and density to keep the whole beans from reaching the grinder? Do we remember how separation of sediment works? This debate was followed by a google search and then the decision to experiment ourselves; enough with the incomprehensible if not inapplicable diagrams of google images!

To begin, we ground some beans very fine in the grinder (by holding the grind button down and waiting until all of the beans had been processed); we ground some beans coarse (by wrapping them in a towel and pounding them with the bottom of a mug); and left some beans unground. Next, we put all the beans in a glass jar (after some debate about the best way to make a paper funnel). Finally, we took turns shaking the glass jar several ways (upside down, right side up, sideways, in a swirling motion, etc.).

The result? The whole beans consistently rose to the top, and the fine grains descended to the bottom (which makes sense, given thought about the concepts of gravity, density, and surface area, but is nice to see confirmed by experimentation).

Further research is needed to determine the best way to grind beans evenly (Proposed method: keeping the grinder upside down and shaking so that the beans that are naturally on top are ground. Possible objection: could rough handling and dry running cause damage to the internal workings of the grinder?). Further research is also needed to determine whether shaking really helps or hurts (N.H. Shaking does nothing. H.1 Shaking causes the fine grounds to continue to be ground while keeping the whole beans away from the blades. H.2 Shaking keeps the fine grounds from packing together on the bottom and allows the whole beans to move around and come into contact with the blades sooner than doing nothing).

New Years

2011-01-04T21:13:00.000-06:00

What are everyone's resolutions this year? I was going to do a comparison, show last year's resolutions as well, but we didn't post any last year.

Madeleine's:
Read more Philosophy
Do some volunteer work
Try to learn Spanish
Complete at least one art project
Go on a road trip

John:
Sell one good photograph
Work out more
Learn how to make fire
Memorize history of photography
Read opinionated literature

Family Recipes

2010-12-22T23:29:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone. This is a rather long post, but I thought that these should be where everyone can get at them. I'm not quite sure of my transcription on a few of these (especially the Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls of Death. I have tried that recipe, and it's good, but I'm not sure that it's the same one that Mandy used), so feel free to correct me. Sorry that I didn't bake them all and take pictures to go with; that will have to come later.

Rusty Logs

1 c. Butter
1 c. Powdered Sugar
Cream, add
2 t. Vanilla
Mix separately then add
1 1/2 c. Flour
1/2 t. Salt
1 c. Oats
Chill 1/2 hour
Preheat oven to 325
Roll into shape of logs
Roll in choc. shot
Slice
Bake 25-30 minutes

Peanut Blossoms

Preheat oven to 325
1/2 c. Butter
  1/2 c. Peanut Butter
Cream together with
1/2 c. Sugar
1/2 c. Brown Sugar
Add
1 egg, beaten
2 T. milk
1 t. Vanilla
Mix separately and add
1 3/4 c. Flour
1 t. Soda
1/2 t. Salt
Shape into balls
Roll in sugar
Bake 8 min. on ungreased pan
Remove
Add kiss, push until cookie cracks
Bake 2-5 min. longer

Pecan Crunchies

Preheat oven to 300
3 c. Butter
3/4 c. Powdered Sugar
Cream together
Add
4 T. Cold Water
4 C. Flour
Mix, add
3 c. Pecans, chopped
Roll into balls
Bake for 30 min
Sprinkle with Powdered Sugar

Mary Arigi Chocolate Drops

Preheat oven to 350
2 1/2 c. Butter
1 1/3 c. Sugar
Cream together, add
4 T. Vanilla
Mix separately, add
4 c. Flour
1/2 t. Salt
1 c. Cocoa
Roll into 1" balls, press with fork
Bake 15 minutes
Sprinkle with Powdered Sugar

Ginger Snaps

Preheat oven to 365
1 1/2 c. Shortening
2 c. Sugar
Cream together, add
2 Eggs, beaten
1/2 c. Molasses
Mix separately, add
4 c. Flour
2 t. each Ginger, Soda, Cinnamon, Cloves
Roll into 1" balls
Bake 15-18 minutes
Sprinkle with Sugar

Fudge

In large pot on stovetop mix
1 c. Butter
1 can Evaporated Milk
5 c. Sugar
Bring to rolling boil
Simmer for 8 min.
Remove from heat
Add
16 oz. Mini Marshmallows
2 bags Semi-Sweet Choc Chips
1 T. Vanilla
1/4 t. Salt
optional
1 c. Walnuts
Line 13" x 9" pan with wax paper (preferably from cereal box), pour into pan, refrigerate

A #1 Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 350
1 lb. Butter
1 1/2 c. White Sugar
1 1/2 c. Brown Sugar
Cream together, add
4 Eggs beaten
2 T. Vanilla
Mix separately, add
4 1/2 c. Flour
2 t. Soda
1/2 t. Salt
Add
2 bags Choc Chips
1 c. Walnuts, chopped
Roll into balls
Bake 8-10 minutes

Oatmeal P.B. Cookies w/ Choc Chips

Preheat oven to 350
1 lb Butter
1 c. Peanut Butter
4 c. Sugar
Cream together, add
4 Eggs, beaten
Mix separately, add
2 c. Flour
7 c. Oatmeal
2 t. Baking Powder
1/2 t. Baking Soda
Add
1 bag Choc Chips
Roll into balls
Bake 8-10 minutes

Sugar Cookies

Preheat oven to 350
1 c. Butter
3/4 c. Sugar
Cream together
Add
1 Egg, beaten
1 t. vanilla
Mix separately then add
2 1/2 c. Flour
pinch Salt
1/4 t. Baking Powder
Roll thin, cut, place on cookie sheet
Bake for 8-10 minutes

Mandy's Peanut Butter Chocolate Balls of Death

1 1/2 c. Peanut Butter
1 c. Butter, soft
1/2 t. Vanilla
6 c. Powdered Sugar
Mix
Roll into balls
Freeze 30 minutes
Melt
4 c. Semi-Sweet Choc Chips
Dip balls in chocolate, cool to harden

Cranberry Orange Nut Bread

Preheat oven to 375
4 c. Flour
1 1/2 c. Sugar
1 t. Soda
1 t. Salt
Blend
In a separate bowl
2 Eggs, beaten
1 1/2 c. Orange Juice
1 c. Oil
Mix dry and wet, add
2 c. Cranberries, halved
1 c. Nuts, chopped
Optional
2 t. Orange Zest
Pour into 2 greased loaf pans
Cook for 55 - 60 min., or until light brown on top and toothpick comes out clean
Cool on wire rack

Rita's Cheese Cake

Preheat oven to 300
1/2 Box Graham Cracker Crumbs
1 T. Sugar
1 T. Melted Butter
Mix, press into bottom of pie pan
In a separate bowl, blend
3 big pk. Cream Cheese
5 Eggs, one at a time
1 c. Sugar
1 1/2 t. Vanilla
Pour into pie pan
Cook for 1 hour
For topping mix
1 1/2 pints Sour Cream
1/2 c. Sugar
1 1/2 t. Vanilla
Pour into cooked cheese cake
Bake for 5 min.
Chill

Debbie Davis Chocolate Cake

Preheat oven to 350
1 3/4 c. Flour
2 c. Sugar
3/4 c. Cocoa Powder
1 1/2 t. Salt
Mix, add
2 eggs
1 c. Milk
1/2 c. Oil
2 t. Vanilla
Mix, add
1 c. Boiling Water
Bake 35-40 min., or until toothpick comes out clean

Cocoa Butter-Cream Frosting

1/2 c. Butter
1/2 c. Cocoa
3 1/2 c. Powdered Sugar
Blend
Add a little at a time while beating
1/2 c. Milk or Heavy Cream (more may be used)
Whip on high for 2 minutes

Granola

Preheat oven to 350
16 c. Old Fashioned Style Rolled Oats
Bake for 10 min.
Stir in
3 c. Nuts
3 c. Coconuts
3 c. Bran
Add
2 c. Honey
2 c. Oil
Bake 30 min., stirring periodically

Popovers

Preheat oven to 450
2 Eggs
1 c. Flour
1 c. Milk
1/2 t. Salt
Mix
Pour small amount into greased muffin tins
Bake for 20 min
Turn oven down to 350
Bake for 20 min

Swedish Pancakes

On stove in omelet pan melt
1/3 c. butter
Mix
1/2 c. Flour
4 T. Sugar
dash Salt
Add
4 Eggs, beaten
1 c. Milk
Melted Butter
Put small amount of butter in pan
Heat on medium
Put small amount of mix in pan
Swirl to spread
Flip
Place on plate in warming oven until all pancakes are done

Clarice's Beer Batter for Fish

1 1/4 c. Flour
1 can Beer
1 Egg
1 t. Salt
Mix
Coat Fish
Fry in hot oiled (cook 1 side, flip)

Tartar Sauce
    1 c. Mayo
    2 T. Vinegar
    2 T. Sugar
optional
    2 t. Pickle Relish

Chicken George Sauce
    1 c. Mayo
    1/4 c. Lemon Juice
    2 T. Sugar
    2 T. Vinegar

Master Mix

5 lb. Flour
3/4 c. Baking Powder
3 T. Salt
1 T Cream of Tartar (optional?)
1/2 c. Sugar
Mix, cut in by hand
2 lb. (2/3 can) shortening

Master Mix Pancakes
    1 c. Milk
    1 Egg
    1 1/2 c. Master Mix

Master Mix Biscuits
Preheat oven to 400
    3 c. Master Mix
    2/3 c. Milk
Beat together with fork
Roll out thick
Cut
Bake 8-10 minutes on cookie sheet

Master Mix Muffins
Preheat oven to 400
    1 Egg
    1 c. Milk
    2 T. Sugar
    3 c. Master Mix
Add
    Fruit or Berries, if desired
Pour into greased muffin tins
Bake 20 min.

Master Mix Cornbread
  Preheat oven to 400
     1 1/2 c. Master Mix
     3/4 c. Cornmeal
     1 Egg
     1 c. Milk
     2 T. Sugar
Pour into greased 9" pan or pie pan
Bake 20-25 minutes

Quiche

Preheat oven to 370
3 Eggs, beaten
1 c. Evaporated Milk [or: 1 c. Milk (in addition to other milk) + 1/3 c. Dry Milk]
1 c. Milk
1/2 t. Salt
Dash Pepper and Nutmeg
1 c. Cheese
Pour into greased pie pan
Add
Any Vegetables (e.g. Onions, Garlic, Broccoli, etc.)
   1/4 c. Master Mix
Bake for 45 min.

Enjoy!

Schools done!

2010-05-12T13:35:00.000-05:00

I finished my last class and now I am set to have fun with Ben,Sam, Matthew and Markie and anyone else who happens along. In the meantime...what to do? It is a choice between Rex Stout or Dorothy Sayers, do I want Picadilly or 35th Street? Can you guys help me to choose? .

2010-05-09T17:35:00.000-05:00

Matthew learned how to make stop-motion movies today. He now owns our tripod and camera.

2010-05-04T23:09:00.000-05:00

All right people, entertain me please.

Poem for the family

2010-02-27T21:07:00.000-06:00

I had to write this for the kid-lit class that I am taking:

Alone but All Together

In the drippy winter streets outside, amidst the traffic drone
The crowds are all together but each person is alone.

A home can be a fortress in February weather.
Inside, each child can be alone but also be together.

“Kidnapped” little Gwenny is reading by the stove
Heating vent for island, her cozy pirate’s cove.

Bredon punches paper keys in his play-office scene
Flashing magic answers on a cardboard screen.

Madie’s in the basement spinning a bicycle tire
Twirling on a pediment, suspended by a wire.

Upstairs in her bedroom, Rosie paints a scene
Of Callie on the carpet in oranges and green.

Callie’s stretched out on the floor surrounded by scrap papers
Drawing a dragon window-washer flying by skyscrapers.

Ben’s souping up monopoly from mono to quad
Playing four boards on the floor boards; a Parker Brother’s god.

Sammy shoves toy dinosaurs to the front hall stair
Manipulating mountain steps in Jurassic alpine air.

In the drippy winter streets outside, amidst the traffic drone
The crowds are all together but each person is alone.

Our home can be a fortress in February weather
Inside, each of us may be alone, but we are all together.

J. Clay

2010 thoughts

2010-01-18T14:28:00.000-06:00

Hey, remember this post last year?
"2009"

Did anyone accomplish any 2009 goals?
Any new goals for 2010?
I'm going to have to think a while to come up with some.

Christmas

2009-12-31T09:24:00.000-06:00

I love christmas

2009-11-27T12:16:00.000-06:00

Does anyone have any book/cd/movie/other stuff requests or ideas for others? Also rosie, what do you want for your birthday? If you just say "art supplies" I will kick you. Be specific.

Song Lyrics

2009-11-06T10:13:00.000-06:00

Hey family,
I need to write some song lyrics...lots of verses, about birds and elephants. The more ridiculous the better.
I know that that doesn't sound very promising,but it is for a class.
If any of you have any ideas it would be greatly appreciated.
Ben and Sam are composing ponderous and soaring notes for me...
Mom

Happy birthday Ben!

2009-11-04T20:52:00.000-06:00

Ben, tell what it's like being 14? What do you want to do this year?

Happy Birthday Sam!

2009-10-28T07:23:00.001-05:00

It's your birthday, hooray!

Faux Pregnant

2009-10-18T15:19:00.001-05:00

Identity theft

2009-10-14T17:58:00.001-05:00

I need to adopt an identity for a performance project. Like dress up as someone besides myself, not necessarily a particular person, but some subculture besides my own.

I'm trying to think of something that I could imitate well without too much fancy makeup. Do you guys have any suggestions?

World Travel

2009-10-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

So we are going to have family vacation night on Saturdays. We are picking a country to visit, going to the library for a travel video, books and maybe even a language tape, followed by a trip to buy some food to make a treat from that country. It is going to be awesome! One of the best things about having small children is that you can make them do things. Matthew is very interested in geography right now (and all things map, globe, and chart related). During dinner last night, Matt and I couldn't answer a lot of his questions even with the help of a globe. We ended up doing a Wikipedia search on Madagascar (all we know was that there were lemurs and that is was separated from Africa a long time ago) and were blown away. I wasn't even sure it was a country. Who knew it was once a pirate utopia and is now a semi-presidential representative democratic republic? So far Matthew has nominated China; Markie prefers England, earth, or Minneapolis; Matt is interested in New Zealand and South America; and I'd like to see some African countries. Any suggestions or travel tips, guys?

Garden

2009-05-28T19:39:00.000-05:00

Tonight we had our first baby lettuce, spinach, and arugula salad from the garden. Matthew was very excited about harvesting, because he is doing a farming unit at school. I thought we should eat some of the greens before the resident rabbits eat them all (I'm feeling sympathy for Mr. McGregor but I'm not ready to make any pies yet).

The garden makes me ridiculously happy, and sometimes I need to rush outside during dinner to see if seeds are up.

PS: happy belated birthday to mom!
PPS: these pictures are from the beginning of the week and everything is even bigger and greener now!

Check out some indie games

2009-05-07T20:25:00.001-05:00

I know most of you on here don't play video games, but you should really check these 2-3 minute long experimental browser games out. It's surprising how evocative the simple art and elegant design in these games can be.

The first two are by Daniel Benmergui: Today I Die in which you can drag and drop different elements of the world to affect the narrative, and I Wish I Were The Moon in which you can take pictures of various elements and use the pictures to move them around.

Another one is (I Fell In Love With The) Majesty of Colors by Gregory Weir. In it you play as a gigantic Lovecraftian sea creature discovering the surface world for the first time.

In all of the games, the point is to simply play with the environment and see how your actions affect the outcome. They all have several different endings, and work best when you try to find them all.

Anyway, I'm really fascinated to see how these oddities from the gaming scene bounce off of people who aren't as immersed in it all the time.

Piano Recital

2009-04-19T15:53:00.000-05:00

Ben's piano recital piece.

Sam's piano recital piece.

My Kitten

2009-04-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

John's cousin Christine took this picture of my kitten, Gretchen.

Sustainable Energy

2009-03-26T20:16:00.000-05:00

Want a refreshing take on the role of renewable energy in our future? Then you’ll want to download David MacKay's free book, Sustainable Energy - without hot air. Using wry British wit and mathematics, MacKay examines the realistic potential of solar, offshore wind, hydroelectricity, geothermal and wave energy to meet the energy needs of the planet.

(note from an EVWorld newsletter).

I really enjoyed zipping through this book. It is truly informative rather than polemical, and best of all it's free.

Dinner while Jenny is at school

2009-03-25T20:40:00.000-05:00

A review: The Hazards of Love

2009-03-24T08:09:00.000-05:00

The Decemberists have never been cool. This is, of course, exactly why they're awesome. They're a band that has carved their unique voice out of a surprisingly earnest dedication to very strange obsessions. They've written a few radio-ready songs, but for every 16 Military Wives or Sons And Daughters, they have five more songs about Japanese fables, star-crossed romance between rival gangs or mariners that were swallowed whole by whales.

For their fifth album, they have abandoned the (mostly) self-contained stories of their previous songs and done a full-on concept album ala The Wall. Though even The Wall produced several singles for Pink Floyd, and I can't imagine any of the songs in this album standing on their own; perhaps The Rake's Song - a tale of familicide that recalls Bob Dylan's Ballad of Hollis Brown or The Violent Femmes' Country Death Song (those references are for you, Gwen) - or Annan Water, but even those songs are lessened when taken out of context.

The album tells the story of a pregnant woman named Margaret who is in love with (stay with me here) a shape-shifting faun. Margaret is abducted by the villainous Rake, who is flown to safety across the wide, uncrossable river by the jealous Forest Queen, who considers her to be a corrupting temptation on the innocent faun. It's an odd album, but full of great music and those wonderful lyrical twists unique to this band - who but The Decemberists would ever write this quatrain, taken from The Rake's Song:

No more a rake and no more a bachelor
I was wedded and it whetted my thirst
until her womb started spilling out babies
only then did I reckon my curse

It's a wonderful mix of wordplay and utterly ridiculous, mustache-twirling villainy that perfectly fits the style of the album.

The real star of the record, by the way, is guest singer Shara Worden (of My Brightest Diamond) who takes the music by storm, cracks it open with a sledgehammer and unleashes the heavy metal riffs that Chris Funk was born to play.

This album is an oddity, as is the band that created it. And for that, I have to love it.

pretty pictures

2009-03-23T13:11:00.000-05:00

I love NASA's astronomy picture of the day site. I have it on a widget on my homepage. Beautiful pictures, and they remind me to look at the sky.

fan update

2009-03-18T03:04:00.000-05:00

A new Dylan album is coming in April. Haven't heard any of it yet. Here's an interview: part 1 (also here: part 1).

Happy Birthday Grandpa Mark!

2009-03-05T07:42:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Dad!

Interesting Podcasts

2009-02-24T15:25:00.000-06:00

Part of having a desk job (at least for me) is keeping my brain occupied with music and podcasts. I thought you might be interested in some of these, so I've rounded up some of the better podcasts from my RSS aggregator to share with you all:

AstronomyCast - A weekly show, which generally follows the format of Fraser Cane lobbing questions that are answered by Dr. Pamela Gay. They cover a wide range of topics - okay, one topic, but a wide range of subtopics.

Science Talk - This one is done by Scientific American magazine and is more radio-showy than you'd expect from a web-only show. They have news segments, interviews, and even a mellifluous host.

The Film Programme - A radio show from BBC 4, some of the best movie-related opinions and interviews out there.

Planet Money - A podcast by some of the guys who produced the economy episodes of This American Life (I'll just take it as a given that I don't need to link the TAL podcast here.) They actually produce and post multiple episodes per week, amazingly.

White Coat, Black Art - A show by a doctor, about doctoring and doctoring related subjects. This one is a CBC radio show that quit recently, but their old episodes are still interesting.

Spark - Another CBC radio show that panders to gadget obsessed Web 2.0 buzzword spouting geeks. I like it. I've refrained from posting the far, far nerdier podcasts I subscribe to, but I think this one hits a lot of general interest topics.

From Our Own Correspondent - Another BBC podcast, this one focusing on their foreign correspondents.

Brain Science - A show about neuroscience hosted by Dr. Ginger Campbell.

Books And Ideas - Dr. Campbell's other show, for things that don't fit in to the Brain Science show. Also really interesting.

My History Can Beat Up Your Politics - An interesting show that talks about American history, with topics set by current events.

Do any of you guys listen to any podcasts? If so, go ahead and post them, I'm always looking for more stuff to shove into my ears.

great science class blog

2009-02-21T11:47:00.000-06:00

These kids were on npr. I was checking out their blog, and it is great!
Extreme Biology
Seems like a fantastic class (the blog is created by "Miss Baker's" 9th graders and AP biology students). There are lots of good ideas for projects and research on it.

Vivaldi

2009-02-11T11:57:00.000-06:00

I know everyone alive has probably heard this before, but I love it! Vivaldi is so beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUpsUsJStLQ&feature=related

Callie is the one who put the Four Seasons on her ipod(most of my music comes from Callie, or various other brothers and sisters. On the rare occasion I discover something myself I get extremely self-satisfied and have to show it to everyone-see link below- :P), but I stole it and now I can't stop listening to Vivaldi.

Here's a song I found on a random blog, it's really fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoaTl7IcFs8

Comic Book Geekery: Ordinary Victories by Manu Larcenet

2009-02-04T20:38:00.001-06:00

I'm really loving this book. It's about a photographer living in Paris who is struggling with a creative drought. It's all very well written, but what I truly love about it is the art style. It reminds me of Bill Watterson with Calvin & Hobbes or Hergé with Tintin in the way it juxtaposes detailed and beautifully colored backgrounds with very stylized, cartoony characters. The way the French countryside is drawn is amazing:

Click for biggerized pictures

Eye!

2009-01-31T10:32:00.000-06:00

My eye. So much better now that those awful CATARACTS are gone. Geez.

eye sore

2009-01-27T09:39:00.000-06:00

That's a little better. at least it's not puss filled.

Eye

2009-01-13T14:52:00.001-06:00

I went to the doctor today, and he gave me a shot of prednisone in the membrane under my eye. You can see the white goop from the shot. Yuck.

Doughnuts! (part II)

2009-01-10T11:03:00.000-06:00

Just in case you were wondering,

[link]

Doughnuts!

2009-01-09T18:38:00.000-06:00

We made doughnuts.
Observe:

Mixing dough and stuff. Just dough, actually.

This is the HOT oil. Do not put your fingers into the HOT oil.

Fruits of labor. Labor of love. Doughnuts of love? Love of fruit?

Delicious Doughnuts.

I saw this and thought of Callie

2009-01-09T08:37:00.000-06:00

Dinosaur Comics linked this site the other day:

XtraNormal

Basically it's like a web version of that old Hollywood game you guys play. Pick a background and some characters, enter a script, and some hilariously stilted voice-generation technology acts it out for you.

Review: Twilight

2009-01-07T13:02:00.000-06:00

The book series, "Twilight", by Stephenie Meyer, is composed of addictive teen-romance novels about Vampires. I picked them up with some hesitance, believing myself to be above such books, but having promised my students that I would read them. Somewhat to my shame, I was quickly sucked in.
They really are fun books, with a mostly original, albeit very superheroish, view of vampire mythology. It is not by any means challenging reading, and Ms. Meyer is extremely self-indulgent, but it is excellent reading for a cozy afternoon when one feels rather lazy and in the mood for light, fun reading. So if you want to let loose your inner adolescent, read about high-school drama, true love, high adventure, werewolves, and vampires, then this is a good series of books to go with.

P.S. The movie was pretty fun, too.

2009-01-07T10:26:00.000-06:00

Elizabeth payton.
the snob in me is slightly turned off cause she did paintings of pop stars and Eminem and stuff, but that's a stupid snob. I've known about Elizabeth Payton for a while, always thought she was very good, her paintings look like they were done so quickly and with so much confidence. I think she does a lot of her paintings from photos, you can kind of tell, sometimes that stagnates a picture-but- she has so much energy it doesn't really matter. In fact I think that's probably a style she wants her paintings to have, an element of stillnes, but painted with energy. if that makes sense. She keeps her paint so clean and pure too. they're kind of like virgin paintings-- ok that might be a little bit of artistic BS, but it makes sense to me.
Anyway, ENJOY.

2009

2009-01-01T16:20:00.000-06:00

Over lunch some of us were talking about beginning new things in the new year.
Sam wants to start five new things, he has been bouncing some ideas around all day.
Here are some athletic ideas for new beginnings.

Mom: By 2010 I would like to be able to do 20 laps in the YMCA pool and be happy about it.
I would like to be able to do 50 girlie push ups and be happy about it.

Sam: By 2010 Sam would like to be able to do 100 pushups in two minutes (the guy kind)
He would like to be able to do 18 pull ups
Sam would like to be able to join the swim team.
If anyone else has any to add, here is your chance.

Photos

2008-12-30T10:54:00.000-06:00

Festive Photos are:
here,
here,
and here.

The Annual Clay Review Games and Gala Report on Holiday Festivities

2008-12-27T12:54:00.000-06:00

Events, Results, and Recognition:

Jousts
steeds: Matt the elder and Mark the elder
Combatants: Mark the younger, forfeit. Matthew the younger, defeated. Sam, victorious!
(all bets have been settled, remaining scores must be taken up with the management)

Pinatas
All met their demise nobly. Mighty swings were taken by all. Much loot was harvested. The Penelope Pig was far superior to the bust of Batman by popular acclaim.

Tableaux (180 second time limit) in the following categories were presented:
Drama
Poetry
Speech
Film adaptation
Comedy
Battle
Heroic Declamation
Tragedy
Musical Endeavours
Scientific Enlightenment
Magic Tricks
Jokes
Athletic Achievements
Rube Goldberg Machinations

Various valuable prizes of Inestimable value were awarded as follows:

The Most Serious and Monumental Elevated Platonic Prize was awarded to Mark (the Elder)for his grave rendition of Ogden Nash couplets.

The TA Edison Engineering Award for ingenuity was Awarded to the team of Madeleine and John for their elaborate and maniacal mad scientist Rube Goldberg device culminating in a volcanic eruption.

The Holden Caulfield Memorial Aloof Adolescent Award was presented to Callie for her excellent part as a photographer in the Clay Family troupe's stirring rendition of "When Daddy Fell Into The Pond".

The Three Stooges Gag was awarded to Kim Walker and Gwendolyn Clay-Scott for their uproarious presentation of The Knightly Quest for Comedy, Valor, and Tragedy.

The Practical Pig Prosaic Prize was awarded to Samuel for his stirring musical performance.

The Buzz Lightyear Award For Bravery and Style was awarded to Ben and Sam for their heroic lightsaber duel.

The Princess Pony Ballerina Unicorn Tiara was Presented to Gayle Walker for her heart stopping balletic and operatic performance of the highest artistic caliber.

The Brevity Brief was presented to Rosie for her admirable and succinct charade.

The Mr. Mysteriousi Stunt Medal was given to Matthew the younger for his awe inspiring magic tricks and for his silken cape.

The President's Athletic Iron Man Crown was bestowed upon mark the younger for his spirited and sprightly break dancing acrobatics.

Summary
A good time was had by all and many noble speeches, feats, and achievements were performed with suitable pomp. The management want to especially recognize the participation of Kim and Gayle for making the evening uproarious.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-26T20:04:00.000-06:00

Waiting for Christmas to begin. Waiting. Waiting.

Hooray, it's here.

some pictures, sloppily taken

2008-12-01T12:18:00.000-06:00

This mummy bears a slight family resemblance.....

2008-11-25T00:10:00.000-06:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/19/world/asia/19mummy.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

The link from Madie's comment is:
http://www.meshrep.com/PicOfDay/mummies/mummies.htm

First few months in Virginia

2008-11-07T17:03:00.000-06:00

The view from the plane.

Lazarus hates the birthday song.

Matthew's Birthday and Camping

2008-11-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

Fall Photos

2008-11-01T13:07:00.001-05:00

(just some photos)

Overshare

2008-10-27T10:48:00.000-05:00

So I have a confession to make. I have become addicted to Twitter, possibly the most flagrant example of the excessive need for constant connection that has arisen out of the Web 2.0 social networking fad yet. Twitter is basically a micro-blog, consisting of posts that are less than 150 characters long, designed to be easily entered and read from a mobile device or instant messenger. It encourages very immediate posting of photos, links or short opinion sound-bites of things like movies you just watched or live music shows you are currently attending, allowing other people to keep up with your every thought.

Not sure how interested any of you all would be in this, but I thought it would be pretty cool to get a Clay family twitter group going on there to swap local family news considered too small to warrant a posting on this blog. Here is a link to my account, which I update from my phone usually a couple of times daily. For extra fun, Barack Obama has a feed, and if you follow it, they will follow you back.

Hats

2008-10-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

Zombie Party

2008-10-26T15:42:00.000-05:00

We had a zombie party at John's Cousin's (Christine's) place. Here are some highlights.

Zombies kissing!

Zombie Attack!

Zombie lays in wait.

Kill zombie with horns?

Oh no! Another zombie attack!

Mmm, brains.

Fall weekend

2008-10-16T21:03:00.000-05:00

Reading Hour. May I join?

We had a fun time with Matthew and Mark. Come back soon!

Sparkly Pictures

2008-10-08T21:26:00.000-05:00

These photos are just beautiful!
Corals and Comet Dust Slideshow

Misnomer

2008-10-06T13:50:00.000-05:00

Slate has posted a great article exploring just how, exactly, we should categorize the US economy in light of recent events.

Name that economy

"Or perhaps we should say that we've entered the Marxist stage of Rube Goldberg capitalism. Bill Gates coined the term creative capitalism earlier this year to describe a market approach to alleviating poverty. In a broader context, his phrase gets at the reality that private enterprise on its own won't address global ills such as climate change, economic inequality, or systemic financial risk. Put a different way, when capitalism stops working, it's time to start looking for a good adjective."

Now they just need an Ellen Feiss commercial

2008-09-26T06:18:00.000-05:00

The Inner Life of the Cell

2008-09-24T20:49:00.000-05:00

http://multimedia.mcb.harvard.edu/
Absolutely incredible. Complexity, order, beauty. Multiply times 10 or 100 trillion and that's you.

Monitor your doom

2008-09-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

I would recommend checking this site hourly tomorrow, just in case.

Wedding Pictures

2008-09-05T20:26:00.000-05:00

Here

Congratulations to Madeleine and John!

2008-08-24T16:55:00.000-05:00

all the wedding photos on my camera are here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2355469&l=54c2a&id=10048616
and here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2355479&l=d96ae&id=10048616

The White Coat Ceremony

2008-08-22T23:46:00.000-05:00

Congratulations Gwen!
Too much excitement in one weekend!!!!

PhD material

2008-08-22T08:07:00.000-05:00

Top-secret preview of Gwen's newest research (never before published): gwen-report

Matthew's First Day of Kindergarten

2008-08-21T18:21:00.001-05:00

Marky's Birthday!

2008-08-12T20:18:00.001-05:00

We have had a wonderful three-year old birthday day! We ate all kinds of three-year old foods (such as blueberry muffins and hot dogs) and played with lots of toys. We even had a tea (mostly sugar) party.

The Day Today

2008-07-25T20:56:00.000-05:00

It looks like every post I've made on here lately has had some YouTube video embedded in it, so here's another one to continue the trend. I found this British show from the 90s the other day, and I love it.

Burn After Reading

2008-07-13T09:51:00.000-05:00

I really want to see this movie.

Announcement

2008-06-27T01:54:00.000-05:00

John Burrell and Madeleine Clay are engaged to be married.

new art blog

2008-06-26T13:35:00.000-05:00

I started an art blog, just to dump pictures of all my stuff.

http://paintlings.blogspot.com/

Madie's Graduation

2008-06-08T14:43:00.001-05:00

Congratulations Madeleine. Graduate number 3.

It was a nice ceremony on a beautiful hot and sunny day. Madeline Albright gave a funny, good speech (ouch if you are a Bush fan).

Madie was beautiful. We're outrageously proud, and just waiting for all that comes next.

Oh, and thanks for lunch Bredon.

What's next?

Summertime: Keeping Cool

2008-06-01T11:21:00.001-05:00

Vacation

2008-05-29T17:07:00.000-05:00

We had a relaxing week on the Beach. Ahhh, balm for the soul and burn for the body. The waves were a blast to swim in. We had some chances to talk, read, and oh yes, catch up on Monopoly. I really have a great family! Sorry, I don't mean to rub it in for those who were slaving away while we had fun, but I wish you were all there.

Dad

This American Life

2008-05-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

I just started watching Showtime's TV version of This American Life, and I really love it. They hooked me in by promising animation by Chris Ware, one of the best comic book authors out there, and now I can't stop watching. I haven't heard much of the radio show, though I have tuned across it in the car occasionally - I do remember hearing a story by Richard Bausch that was really interesting, though I never caught the end until I went back and looked it up later. They're really good at making little things interesting, and what gets me is that even though they have a sense of humor about the stories they do, they approach them all with a real sense of compassion.

A Wonderful Visit

2008-05-18T10:52:00.000-05:00

We had so much fun visiting Aunts Judy & Elayne. They treated us like royalty, and California was breathtakingly beautiful. It was wonderful to see them and we had a most enjoyable trip.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T11:10:00.001-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to Mom, Grandma Jenny, and The Most Illustrious Master Of Ceremonies

I Gradulated

2008-05-10T10:54:00.001-05:00

Max Beerbohm

2008-05-04T23:07:00.000-05:00

I've been reading a lot of Max Beerbohm's essays lately. The man is hilarious.

Here is my favorite one:

How Shall I Word It?

Soccer

2008-05-04T00:00:00.001-05:00

These guys are really dedicated to play this game in the cold, windy, rainy spring weather here. Go Ben and Sam.

FLUNK DAY!!!

2008-05-01T12:35:00.000-05:00

Hooray! I get to tell drunk residents not to pee in trash cans! What fun?

Also, a sculpture, test, and paper are postponed until Tuesday.

2008-04-26T11:03:00.000-05:00

I haven't put anything up for awhile, so here's some art stuff I've been doing- except the top one, that's a little older-from school.

Earthquake!

2008-04-18T08:46:00.000-05:00

I woke up to it this morning. Apparantly, it was a 5.4, centered underneath Mt. Carmel - they could feel it all the way up in Milwaukee. Pretty cool. Did any of you guys feel the ground tremble?

A Review: Stop-Loss

2008-04-03T10:17:00.001-05:00

One of the first logos that play at the beginning of Stop-Loss is that of MTV Films. The name of that studio has always made me wish that they would start a publishing house called Music Television Films Books. There’s a kind of schizophrenia associated with MTV, a sense of societal importance mixed with a shameless appetite for lowest common denominator appeal. This movie operates similarly – if you aren’t watching carefully, its shallowness may distract you from its depth.

Stop-Loss follows the story of Brandon King, a Sergeant in the Army who has just come home from a tour of duty in Iraq. On his last day, he is told that he has been “stop-lossed,” and redeployed back to Iraq. Incredulously, he asks if he will have to keep returning for eleven more years. When his superior responds that it won’t come to that, he points out that the entire war was only supposed to last six months. Unfortunately, this is as political as the movie is willing to get, and much of the remaining screen time devolves into a mindless action film.

Rather than go back to war, Brandon goes AWOL. He is forced to drive across the country, living in crummy motels while the authorities track him down. The movie seems afraid of appearing introspective for even a second, and gets distracted with unnecessary scenes, such as when Brandon tracks down a gang of thugs that stole his car’s radio (and are apparently trying to sell it in an alley less than a block away) and beats them up. There is subtext to be found here, a statement on the difficulty of removing oneself from the violence of the soldier mindset, but the scene feels more like an interference play; some crowd-pleasing action to distract the audience from the boring intelligent story that’s going on in the background.

But don’t get me wrong, the story is intelligent. The movie does not compromise in its ending; it presents a character with no good options ahead of him, and the decision that he makes is sad, but necessary. The final scene plays out slowly and wordlessly, leaving the viewer to work out how to feel about it. This is a powerful movie, and one that will hopefully remind the public, already tired of hearing about the Iraq war, of the massive human cost.

2008-03-27T13:36:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday big brother, glad you were born.

Art Classes

2008-03-16T18:56:00.000-05:00

Here's my blow-up book for sculpture class:

My Q-tip man:

And one of my drawings, though the picture is kind of blurry:

matthew-pants

2008-03-16T00:55:00.001-05:00

Markie

2008-03-15T17:01:00.000-05:00

we're tough!

2008-03-08T21:23:00.000-06:00

Kara took this picture with her poloroid.